A friend once asked me a question:
What do you NOT want to be true about yourself?
Hmm. I balked, but he took it a step further.
“I mean the thing in the world you MOST not want to be true about you,” he pushed.
Being a savvy chap, I got what he was going for…inner conflict. This is how the question gets you…
Pondering the question forces your mind into a resistant state. And what are we resisting, you ask? The answer: some part of our psyche that identifies with what we most want NOT to be true about ourselves. This is a Jedi mind trick straight from the annals of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).
We want it NOT to be true because – for some part of us – it IS TRUE.
Now, that sucks, I know. Let’s make it suck with greater clarity by giving a few examples.
The thought rushes into your mind: I don’t want to be a homosexual. You may have a part of you that believes it might be gay. You’re fighting that part. Otherwise, why would you SO NOT want to be gay?
If you have the thought: I couldn’t handle being a failure. Some part of you considers itself a failure. Done! You’re avoiding the existence of that part.
If you most don’t want to know whether or not you’re a loser, then part of you feels like a loser. And you do not want to know that part of your psyche.
We resist the inner truths that we’re uncomfortable with. Sorry – it’s so true!
Here’s the Mindblow
It doesn’t matter. Not one bit.
So a part of you thinks it’s gay, or a failure, or a total loser. Get to know that part of you. Work it out. What? You’re going to spend the rest of your life fearing this little part of your personality? It’s not like you can totally escape it.
Parts of ourselves we try to avoid at all costs have a way of making their presence known. We typically don’t like how they show up, either. These parts will put thoughts into your mind.
You’re gay. If only people knew.
You’re such a loser and you always will be.
You’ll never escape failure. It’s a curse.
These parts believe it and their job is to make sure you know the truth. Most often, it’s a way to protect you. They want you to know. And you don’t want to know! So, they keep trying to put their beliefs into your mind. This is why people end up with non-sensical, critical thoughts that seem to come from nowhere.
Lets’ stop avoiding our deeper conflicts, confusion, and more bizarre thoughts and feelings. They usually make sense given an understanding of parts psychology. These hidden aspects of our minds are gems to be discovered and brought into the inner family. Welcome them! It doesn’t mean anything, in particular, is true. We’re talking about internal beliefs here.